So anyway, they said I had to meet them under the bridge between the beach and the town, and impound a dog so they can take his owner to jail. So I show up, and I see a cruiser parked under the bridge with its lights on and a pile of stuff on the sidewalk. I get out of my truck and I don't recognize the cops, (it turns out they are switching shifts or some other shit and they don't normally work that area.)
They are busy fooling with radios and clip boards and whatever they do, so I walk over to the pile of paper and plastic bags and stuff and there is a frigging ginormous pitbull leashed to the crash bar up front. My boy!
Me: Hey, Thor!I let Thor ride shotgun, he's the balls. I think it runs in the family though, I was feeding him treats while we were driving around but he was more interested in licking the bottle of hand sanitizer in the center console.
Thor: (was sleeping on the curb, slowly gets up, shakes his sleep off, sticks out his tongue and wags his tail.)
Cops: How did you know his name?
Me: Is that Phil in your car?
Cops: (A little incredulously) Yeah! He was passed out on the sidewalk, we don't know who the fuck he is.
Me: Can I talk to him for a quick sec?
Cops: Sure! (They open the door.)
Me: Hey, Phil, it's me, Animal Control again! I'm taking Thor with me, he'll be fine, just come up and get him when you get out!
Phil: igjpjg fopgjp gj pgjfs
Me: I'll give my card to these guys to put in your shit so when you get out you have my number, okay?!
Phil: flih dsfihr5 lhfs
Cops: Holy fuck, how do you know this guy?
Me: My third, my partners have a couple each though. What's his charge?
Cops: He's got warrants for public intoxication, illegal camping, shoplifting, defrauding an innkeeper, resisting arrest, trespassing, simple assault, possession of less than an ounce, possession of paraphernalia, possession of stolen property, and harboring an unlicensed dog.
Me: The dog's current.
Cops: (Pause.) He'll be out tomorrow.
Phil: fsh5ja pif 9jfl
